(satire…or is it?????)

He’ll compliment your grandma’s awful cooking.

He’ll eat the last donut.

He’ll smash all the new year’s eve balls.

He’ll personally set fire to your place of business.

He’ll turn your golf clubs into scrap metal.

He’ll close down all the McDonald’s.

He’ll take church away.

He’ll take away executive haircuts as being tax exempt.

He’ll make you buy an ugly, sensible car.

He’ll ban doorknobs, probably.

He’ll make us all take computer classes.

He’ll take your children to the science center.

He’ll teach evolution classes.

He’ll let bugs and animals overrun the country.

He’ll give your land away to the natives.

He’ll make you pay teachers and cleaning people more.

He’ll give your daughters birth control.

He’ll ban Christmas.

He’ll listen to the Scientists.

Melissa Pelletier

Damn the man. melissa-pelletier.com

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